Year 1 Blues - Do FA children have difficulty?

Well, I had a good sleep last night. I had a good weekend even though I felt flat from infusion. We had kids' club on Friday night which was fun for Isaac but unfortunately it causes bed time to be delayed by about an hour and a half. In stead of Isaac being in bed by 7pm with the lights out, he is in bed by 8.30pm. Not so bad being a Friday night.

However, then on Sat night we had some friends over and Isaac was in bed a lot later. May be in bed by 8.30pm but not asleep until 9pm. Way too late for Isaac and I was thinking about the fact that school was in a day and I needed to have him well rested. Sunday was the usual. I was at home because of infusion reaction and Alan and Isaac went to church. Daylight Savings changed and was over so Isaac woke at 6am instead of 7am. That made him tired and he was quite ratty for Sunday afternoon and evening that I took away his bed time story and had the lights out just before 7pm on Sunday night, feeling concerned about what he would be like at school the next day.

Most of you know that for the first term of school, in year 1 this year, Isaac has struggled with the year 1 work load and by Wednesday he is really tired and kind of shuts off and gets silly and won't listen, glazed eyes and so forth. So for about 5 weeks or 6....something like that, he had Wed afternoon off at home from 12pm. It worked and he perked up, handling school a lot better, doing heaps better with his spelling tests. Last week I noticed him getting tired again and a bit hyperactive at school on Wed. He has done 2 full Wednesdays again to see how he copes. I was a bit concerned at how he would cope with the spelling test on Friday and when I picked him up from school today I found out he hardly tried and only wrote down 3 words out of the 7! I felt concerned.

To be honest, I was a little taken back today when his teacher started to chat with me. She is absolutely lovely and very caring but I couldn't help but feel really down! She started with how Isaac didn't do too well at his spelling test last Friday and I expressed concern about him being tired again. Then she went on to say that he had been hitting kids today and punched a child in the playground. This completely surprised me as Isaac is not a physically violent kid! In fact, he is usually the one being bossed around! The child he supposedly punched was the one who often hits him in the playground and literally, throws him around. We have had to deal with that before so I wonder if that was provoked but I have NO idea! She said he had been really silly all day and not paying attention in class and everything she told him went straight over his head! He has been a bit like this on the weekend and I have put it down to him being tired. I have also felt bad because I had been getting him in bed by 7.30pm all week instead of 7pm and he seemed to be suffering from it....hence my worry! On top of this, Isaac has a good friend whome he really likes and so Isaac likes to cuddle him. Isaac is a REALLY affectionate kid. When he likes someone, he wants to express that affection. Up to now, I have had trouble explaining to him that he cannot do this at school because this child doesn't like it. That generally boys don't like it and he mustn't do it. Well I find out today that this child who is a really good friend doesn't want to be friends with Isaac anymore because Isaac won't leave him alone! I stood there horrified and feeling like I wanted to cry! I felt like I didn't know my own child! So I discussed this issue with the teacher and the hitting and the tiredness and so forth.

We only had parent/teacher interviews on Tuesday last week. I was late and Alan went on his own for the first interview because I was working. I suppose I would have thought that some of this stuff would have been revealed at the interview if it has been an ongoing problem. The teacher started to discuss how she isn't sure if Isaac will be able to go on to year 2 next year. Now I started to feel panic. I know that parents shouldn't panic about that stuff but you don't want your kid to be behind even if an extra year of school helps them to be infront if you know what i mean? She said that they usually make a decision by June if the child has to stay back, depending on their progress half way through term 2. She also said, "so try not to worry about it right now" but how do you NOT worry about it??? She mentioned that not only is he little (I know FA parents would deal a lot with that) but he also seems more immature than the other kids and where he is right now, he couldn't be expected to be in year 2. However, it is just the first term. He has had 10 weeks of being in year 1, how would you know? That is what I say.....although there must be certain milestones that he should have accomplished. Isaac's real good friends are all with him and I don't want him to not move on with them! I also want to continue with them as a mum of year 2! I know, I know.....this is silly. If it is best for Isaac then who am I to argue or be upset......but I DO feel upset and I don't want him to repeat and I am SO upset about his behaviour today because I didn't raise him to act this way *sigh*

I know, in the back of my mind, that Isaac was born 13 weeks early. I know that this could affect his development and cause him to act younger in areas but at the beginning of the year they were telling me how focused he was and how he was a machine and very independant. How come I didn't hear any of this "may need to repeat the year" at the parent/teacher interviews......OR is it just that they are thinking that after a really bad day today! *sigh* Alan said it may be a knee jerk reaction from today or may be they have been watching and waiting to say something but were not planning to at the parent/teacher interview.

I feel bad that I didn't have him in bed real early on the weekend. I have come to realise how important bed time is to a school child. He must have his lights off at 7pm. Tonight it was 6.30pm. So I did well tonight. Both Alan and I spoke sternly to him about the consequences of hitting at school....what would happen at school as a consequence and at home. We spoke to him about the cuddling issue and how serious that is and how no one will want to be his friend if he ends up being the "naughty kid" who hits and does things kids don't like. We spoke to him about the "not listening" and that if that continued he would be in the office at school. Some of you may think I am harsh, but kids don't seem to stop unless they KNOW what the consequence is and how serious it is! So in devotions tonight Isaac prayed to Jesus, first saying sorry for not listening, cuddling and hitting (whoah, what opposites). He then asked for forgiveness and asked Jesus to help him not do it again. He missed out on sweets after dinner tonight due to not listening and for Isaac that is devastating. Isaac also knows that every day we will be asking his teacher how he behaved and if he listened and so forth.

I hate disciplining but it comes with parenthood just like the cuddling and kissing and reassuring. I just wish I never had to do it. However, if they misbehave, you have to carry through the discipline otherwise they will never take you seriously.

Tomorrow morning at school will be full of apologies. Alan and Isaac will go to the friend who he cuddles and stuff and Isaac will say sorry to him in front of his mum, then the teacher and the other 2 children he hit today. One must face up to things when one has done wrong and correct it quickly. *sigh* Believe me, Isaac really is a sweet kid..........

May be I feel so down because of infusion as well.

I needed to let out all my feelings on this topic. I feel like it is my fault that he is struggling with tiredness and acting like this. I need to be more diligent to get him in to bed and lights out at 7pm and sometimes I just don't. I am learning how important an early bed time is for school children. Not that Isaac ever stayed up super late. Just seems like there is no room for error with school *sigh*

I am interested to know how children with FA cope at school. Parents, do your children need a strict bed time? Do they get SO tired that they get ratty? Do they have to repeat much? Are they more immature at school than the others?

Thanks for reading and commenting. It means a lot! I hope I am doing an ok job at parenting amongst everything else!
Love Charisse