Birthday Party

Well I had a good birthday party..."How to Host a Murder" night! It was great. We finished playing...or acting out the game at 12 mid-night and I didn't get to bed until 2.30am. I can tell you I was worried it would affect my health. However, I rested the next day....feeling totally exhausted. I had a great time. My friends all dressed up in the era that the game was in....we were all actresses or writers or producers of a movie...and while we were celebrating the movie that we were about to release at a pre-dinner event someone was "murdered" and we listened to a tape with the detective talking to us...it was up to us to find out who did it and he wouldn't go to the copes about what he knew about us. SO the murder mystery began with us following our prompts in our books and asking questions to gain as much info from everyon possible so we could make an accusation on who did it. It was fun. There were 4 rounds to the game...and each round revealed more about the people around you and you had to question their actions and then the whole group would talk about it. What fun! I would like to do it again. I feel like it was the best birthday! I really had a good time with my birthday...hehe

Unfortunately, Sunday I hit a downer. You all know that sometimes I become so anxious about life that I just go into a spin and have huge anxiety attacks...this happened for 2 days straight. I wanted to be sedated because I felt so distressed. We dropped Isaac off at nanna so he would not witness how stressed I was...something did trigger it all off....a doctor's appointment actually triggered it off but it was terrible.

What a contrast from a great birthday to complete anxiety.

There has been lots of chats with my sister and mum and dad and Alan and my doctors...to help me through what I am going through...not to mention the fact that I rely of Jesus, my God the most...because without Him I honestly think I would not be here....emotionally or physically.

I had prayer meeting on Thursday night and was able to share my intimate thoughts with them all and the amazing support that actually happened that night was amazing. I have been needing support with the intimate thoughts I have had and with my search with life and having FA for a long time and it was good to hear those people sharing this burden with me and really sounding like they understood to the level that they could. I felt more peace about things that night...that doesn't mean my struggle of having anxiety over life and FA is gone...but it helps when you have more peace over your decisions and how God is leading the way and your friends and family are supporting you.

I had my IVIG infusion today. What a day! It felt so long. The red cross got confused and apparently "forgot" that I have my infusions 4 weekly and never sent my stuff...I had to wait a lot of the day for it...then they could not get a jelco in for about 1 1/2 hours...they tried 5 times and finally got it...my arms are heaps sore.....I never bleed when they want me too! Ha...not because I have ultra high platelets but becasue it is just me...I don't seem to bleed easily or bruise easily...my body copes well...but today with two of the places they tried....they proded and poked in that one vein for a long time and I was bound to bruise....in both areas...when they were proding and poking in and out and around that vein I felt so ill....and very sore....but I closed my eyes and tried to breathe. There was more to today but it is all a long story!

Isaac visited me for the first time at infusion today and had lots of questions about the IV and the bandaides and "yellow" stuff (antiseptic) on my arm from all the jelco tries....he is so sweet...he didn't want to leave and said, "I need you mummy"...I told him that he needed to go home for a sleep and mummy will see you after I finish my medicine and be at home tonight.....he ran into the middle of the room at the center and blew me the biggest kiss...everyone in the room thought he was so sweet and was smiling and cooing and awwing and stuff....so sweet.

So not I feel wiped out and should be going to bed to minimise the reactions of the IVIG!

Bless you all and hope you are doing well.
Love Charisse