The truth about How I have been feeling

Hello People,
I wanted to be honest. I have had a horrible week. I have struggled so much with Isaac being at school for the whole day. I don't know how many people would think this is silly...but I know it has been a serious grievance for me this week. Today was such a bad day. I have felt yucky with the infusion this week....also had some girly issues, still sore in my belly as well. On top of that I feel totally alone when Isaac is at school. I don't know what to do with myself because I can't drive. Today I was totally alone. No nanny for most of the day and no Isaac. I don't know what is happening....whether my hormones have taken a dive because of events this week but I could not stop crying today...hysterical crying. It was disturbing. I bawled and wailed....I had people knock on my door and I opened the door and had tears streaming down my face. I had a phone call from a girlfriend/family and couldn't talk properly because of hysterical crying. It just kept coming and coming all day...I literally couldn't stop it. I felt so distressed over Isaac not being there....I felt distressed in general about lots of things. I really disliked my day. Because I cannot drive at the moment my nanny came at 2.15pm to take me to pick up Isaac from school early...he had a doctor's appointment. When she came in the door I burst into fresh tears only mins after the last ones and she hugged me tight while I cried noisily on her shoulder. We chatted a little and then went to get Isaac.....when I saw him my heart felt more normal. When I heard him say, "I love you mummy" I nearly melted. Then the rest of the day I was tired and achey from crying but feeling much more lighter and enjoyed being with Isaac and caring for him with my nanny. He had croup last week and has had the remnants of a bad cold since. He has a very congested chest and so tomorrow the doctor wants him to stay home from school. I was terribly worried about sending him today. I feel better knowing he will be home tomorrow. I really hope I adjust better to him going to school. I hope I don't feel like this every day......but Alan reminded me that a lot had happened this week which all came together and he thought that I just had to get all these emotions out to feel better....to vent all my thoughts and feelings....he thinks I will feel better about things after today. When I saw the doctor with Isaac he told me that I was not the only mother feeling this way....his child is one of Isaac's best friends and he has started school too. His wife has been feeling sad all week too....and the child's younger sister has been teary all week missing her brother at school...so there has been more tension and tears in their household too....he reassured me that for a woman....and someone who has so much on their mind....and the fact that Isaac is my only child....I will definitely feel very upset and emotional....and he reminded me that what I was experiencing was normal and his wife was going to call me.
I am sorry to dear Angela who called me and I was crying so hard.....all very confusing. Thanks for calling back Angela even though the phone calls were confusing.
Thanks to my nanny as well who helped me when I was also feeling hysterical...and thanks to everyone who understands the circumstances of the day and the week......
I just needed to share and get some encouragement. Thank you for listening.
Love Charisse