Hello All!
Well the start of a new week and I hope it is going to go ok. Isaac was too sick to go back to school on Friday last week. The doctor told us to keep him at home. He also spent today, Monday, at home too. I am satisfied that he is much better to cope with the longer days at school now. He is much more well and rested. So tomorrow he will be back at school. Wednesday is rest day at his school and then Thursday he is back again. I don't like it when Isaac is sick but I really did have a better day with him at home the last 4 days. Then this afternoon at some time I felt weird and told Alan I was going to need to lie down. I went and lay down and the tears came about Isaac returning back to school. I don't want to hold him back, obviously...and I know how important it is for him to be at school....I also know how much he enjoys it! He loves the worksheets that they do for homework. We picked up the homework he missed out on in those 2 days he was abcent and he thoroughly enjoyed catching up on work at home.......I know that it is just a huge adjustment for me to have Isaac in school. There are some other things going on with me that make me think I am more teary anyway.......don't panic though...nothing to worry about. However, this is a reason why I am more teary. I have just been very overwhelmed by a couple of things that have been happening and I am still recovering from the operation 3 weeks ago. I also find that I become bored easiy and needing to take it easy is actually really difficult. There are so many things I could do while Isaac is at school....and I am not allowed to do it yet. I have to remind myself that this is temporary and this operation was done for a good reason and I am actually relieved that I had it done and very happy with myself. It is just so weird that my baby is at school.......and I feel lonely having to sit at home.....AND....I have other things that are causing me to be teary....SO without Isaac I get bombarded by these things and then cry! I WILL get used to him being in school and I WILL enjoy the time while he is there.....it is just a HUGE adjustment!!!!!!
Anyway, I got my new earrings and they are lovely....I am feeling better from the infusion reaction which is a plus!
Oh yes! Also I am in the middle of weaning off some of my anti-anxiety tablets. I only take them at night but have been having some trouble sleeping. I actually don't need these tablets anymore. When I had post natal depression when Isaac was born I also dealt with a lot of grief about my brother's death and coming to terms with FA as well. As a young adult I didn't want a bar of FA.....it hurt too much to think about it. When Isaac was born my hormones went crazy and I was overwhelmed with the reality of FA, the grief from my brother's death and I also ended up with post natal depression........Isaac was born 13 weeks early and that was a huge thing to deal with...worrying if he will make it and stuff.....I had to be put onto anti-anxiety medication and a lot of it. On top of that I saw a pyschologist and learnt how to manage my life using the technique of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which I have become quite good at. After 4 years of being on anti-anxiety tablets I feel ready to say, "bye, bye"...I have some other reasons that have given me a goal to wean off them and I don't think I NEED them anymore. However, even though I am on such low doses right now, your body still gets used to having them in your system and when you drop a tablet, sleeplessness happens and you also end up being teary and feeling awful. I have gotten off lots of the tablets and was working on weaning one in particular. However, this didn't end up being the right time and I have had some yucky effects of trying to wean this one. Rang the doctor and he agreed that we drop another one instead and keep this one going a bit longer. I am off 2 of the tablets completely and have weaned down to the last dose on 2 of the medications.......that is a good job.....this other one I need to go slower with because it affects me more than the others. This is the one I have been trying to wean since Isaac has started school and I decided I need to wait until I am in a routine with school before weaning it down more.....so I went back to my proper dose and dropped another tablet completely and it has had no effect...which is great.....so that is in total 3 different tablets I have dropped completely...... 2 that are the last doses I have weaned to....and then the one that I have been trying to wean but need to hold on to a little longer.....so may be this new schedule will help with my teariness! ( that is 6 tablets I was on in total!!! Oh my!) Wow, I really have had a lot going on. I am hoping that by the end of March or mid April I will be off all of these tablets. I know some people do a "cold turkey" but for me that was not advisable...so I have been doing this really gradually and having more success that way. I am proud of myself. When I read how many tablets I have been weaning I feel encouraged. Otherwise I tend to be disappointed in myself.........Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is all I want to rely on in the end because of some reasons that I have. That is my goal....so I suppose that in conjunction with my other issues and Isaac going to school could be why I have been so teary....push through...I need to push through.
Well, I will let you know how my week goes. Thank you so much for your support! It is so important to me and I really appreciate it!
Love you,
Charisse
11 comments:
Hi love,
You're doing an awesome job, and putting in an excellent effort. I'm with you, and love you always.
Alan
Charisse,
I'm so sorry you've been having such an awful time with things. You will be able to adjust and things will get better. It just takes time.
Take care and keep your head up,
John
My dear friend, how proud I am of you! Weaning off meds can be very hard and you have been doing a great job. Even though you may not feel like it, the way I see it you are a very strong woman. Keep your chin up, and know we are all here praying for you every day! With God, ALL things are possible!
Take care,
Judy
Still praying!
Hebrews 4:15-16 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
I know I just emailed you, but I thought I'd leave a comment as well;-) I'm so sorry it's been so hard having Isaac in school. I'm glad you were able to have him for four days! I hope it gets easier over time.
That is excellent to wean off the meds and you'll know if you do or don't need them.
Chat with you soon;-)
teresa
Paul, by the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, certainly wrote long sentences at times. But the words are always powerful! I hope these words touch your heart. Know that I'm still here praying as always!
Ephesians 2:4-9 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.
No matter what life brings, no matter how dark it gets, we always have hope in the Lord! Praying!
Lamentations 3:21-26 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.
Always keep your eyes on the Lord no matter what happens. Know I'm still praying!
Psalms 40:1-4a I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD. Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust...
Stopping by to let you know that I'm still here praying!!!!!!!!!
Psalms 4:8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.
May your roots go down deep into the Lord and His Word. Continuing in prayer!
Jeremiah 17:7-8 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.
Checking in to see how you're doing and to let you know I'm still praying!
Psalms 73:23-26 Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand. Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.
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