I attended her funeral today. Alan and I were there from 1 pm to about 4pm. I really loved what the Pastor had to say about death and life in the eyes of someone who knows Jesus and loves Jesus. It really spoke to my heart. This earth is only temporary. As a born again Christian, I know that. The Bible clearly tells us that. We take this life on earth so seriously....and so we should. However, when you sit and hear the wonderful news of the Gospel of Jesus and how He is waiting for us when we leave this earth, something stirs inside of you.
I love the fact that, as a Christian, death is not the end for us, but only the beginning of something new and exciting. While we, naturally, mourn the passing of others here in our world, we know that they are free of pain and rejoicing in the Lord's presence. What an amazing thing. No pain, only joy. No "boiling brain".....which is how I feel when I am stressed and worried about the things in this world. No physical suffering. Only joy and peace. These things are what you have when you know Jesus. Amazing really. I have done a lot of thinking today.
Yesterday was my brother's birthday. He died a month after his bone marrow transplant in 1994. He had Fanconi Anaemia. It felt like my whole world had ended when he died. I knew the promises of God, but I was devastated and with having Fanconi Anaemia myself, I withdrew and became depressed. I have worked through a lot of this now but I still feel emotional when thinking about Shannon, my brother.
After the funeral today, we bought some flowers and headed to the cemetary to honour Shannon for his birthday yesterday. Isaac was with us because it was after school. As I was standing and pondering at his grave, I found myself trying to understand my heart. I had been thinking about how my friend's mother had passed away, about her life and how much she loved....should I say loves Jesus. I was thinking about how happy she is right now with Jesus, experiencing no pain and her reward in Christ. I longed for that too......I longed for it. I thought about how Shannon and her would be there together because Shannon loved (loves) Jesus too. I thought about how care free they would feel. We can't even imagine what it would be like to be with Jesus and in Heaven. It is hard to conceive while here on Earth but it must be amazing.
I thought about Shannon's death and the sadness it brought us as a family here on earth. Then I thought about his joy. I reflected on my own life here on earth with having Fanconi Anaemia. The blood and bone marrow issues. The cancers and operations I have been through and the challenges that are still at my door step. I thought about how it can be very stressful and emotional and overwhelming at many times. I then marvelled at how I fight and fight to stay here on earth with my family. Despite all the pain, I have such an urge to fight. I don't want to go from my Isaac and my Alan. I want to grow old with them and see Isaac marry and have children. Yet, I have such a longing to experience the joy that Shannon and my friend's mother are enjoying. To be free of that pain. I am sure that God gives me the desire to press on here on earth. What a strange feeling to want to be with Jesus, free from pain, yet be with your physical family here and grow old with them. The matters of the heart are interesting. The matters of this walk in life are interesting. Sometimes I don't understand the heart and the desires running through it.
I know one thing though.....I long to be free of Fanconi Anaemia. Today has brought forth many thoughts and has caused me to ponder a lot. We fear death but why........????? It is God given to fight for life. It is also God given to be able to go and live with Him. I don't know how to explain it. I am deep in thought.
Below is a photo of Isaac and I looking/pondering at Shannon's grave. I had to laugh at Isaac because every time he saw a grave he would say, "Mum, another person has died here!!" I kept saying to him that everyone here has died. What a sweet child he is.
Isaac at Uncle Shannon's grave. He knows all about Shannon's story.
Shannon's gravestone. Looking pretty I think.
Well, praise God we have the victory now and in the end over death :-) I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Jesus. This walk in life would be incredibly hard. I am blessed that I have something to look forward to after this life as well. When you have a disease that can kill, you find yourself thinking about that quite a lot.
Shannon's gravestone. Looking pretty I think.
Well, praise God we have the victory now and in the end over death :-) I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Jesus. This walk in life would be incredibly hard. I am blessed that I have something to look forward to after this life as well. When you have a disease that can kill, you find yourself thinking about that quite a lot.
My sweet friend, from today, we are praying for you and your family.
My FA family......ones suffering grief right now, we are praying for you.
Lots of love,
Charisse
29 comments:
Lovely post Charisse. It was a sad, but special time today supporting our friends in their time of grief. I love those guys so much. You and Isaac are also a treasure to me of course.
Charisse -
Isn't it wonderful how God prepares our hearts and gives us strength to handle life's tragedies. Your post was very touching. I look forward to meeting Shannon in heaven - if he's anything like you I'll love him too! :) I'm so sorry about your friend's mom too. She was blessed to have you there to support her.
Thinking of you...
Love,
Nancy Ross
www.caringbridge.com/ca/karlyross
Charisse--it is sad when a death occurs. Time eases the pain, but our loved ones who have passed on are still greatly missed. I'm sure you are a great support to your friend.
Love you!!
~Katie
My kids recently asked me what it was like to go to heaven. I told them that its like going home after being gone for a long time and getting a big hug from your father (and family) that you have missed so much.
I don't think our minds can fully comprehend the love and peace we will feel in heaven.
Its strange the mixture of emotions when dealing with death. Its always hardest for the ones left on earth. In that difficulty we can become stronger and closer to God.
I know I don't comment often but I read your entries regularly. This entry really touched me. You have touched my heart with your strength with your struggles.
Am so sorry for your loss!!!!!!!1
Here praying right now!
Psalms 4:8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.
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My Dear Girl, There's such a heaviness of heart that comes with death, isn't there. There are those mind boggling thoughts that time for us here on earth continues, the sun rises and sets and yet our much loved departed are no longer here. It's so strange to think that we have lived Shannon's entire lifetime (time-wise) plus a bit since his death. I'm so thankful that death is not the end, but a new beginning. So thankful to know that we will see Shannon, your dear friend's mother, my Nana and all those people we love so much who have gone before us. My Dear Girl (you are SO like a little sister to me) keep fighting the good fight and loving with your tender heart. I'm praying for you.
Love Kendall xx
Dearest Charisse,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I love you, Mary Ann
I need this verse today, hope it comforts you as well. Praying!
Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
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Wow, what a beautiful post! You are amazing! Recently in our Bible study class I mentioned that we should view Earth as our hotel, this is not our home, it's a temporary dwelling. You put that sentiment into wonderful words. "What a day that will be, when my Jesus I shall see"..... Phew, gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. And I know your friends mom and brother are up there now basking in God's glory. Hallelujah!
Praying right now!
Psalms 62:1-2 Truly my soul waiteth upon God: from him cometh my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; he is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved.
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Lifting up prayers right now!
Psalms 62:5-7 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
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Know that you're always in my thoughts and prayers!
Hebrews 6:17-20 Wherein God, willing more abundantly to shew unto the heirs of promise the immutability of his counsel, confirmed it by an oath: That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us: Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil; Whither the forerunner is for us entered, even Jesus, made an high priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec.
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This passage is so very comforting! Here praying!
John 14:1-3 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
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Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers!
Isaiah 43:1-3a But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour...
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Praying hard right now!
Psalms 116:6-9 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me. Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee. For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.
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Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers!
Romans 8:26-28 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
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Only the Lord can give the strength needed for whatever lies ahead. Praying!
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
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Continuing to pray as always!
Psalms 86:1-3 Bow down thine ear, O LORD, hear me: for I am poor and needy. Preserve my soul; for I am holy: O thou my God, save thy servant that trusteth in thee. Be merciful unto me, O Lord: for I cry unto thee daily.
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Stopping by to let you know I'm still here praying!
Psalms 16:7-8 I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons. I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
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Praying!
Psalms 50:15 And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.
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I don't think there's any greater comfort than knowing that the Lord Himself is holding your family up! Always praying!
Psalms 18:35 Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great.
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Still praying in Seattle!
Psalms 39:12-13 Hear my prayer, O LORD, and give ear unto my cry; hold not thy peace at my tears: for I am a stranger with thee, and a sojourner, as all my fathers were. O spare me, that I may recover strength, before I go hence, and be no more.
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Praying right now!
Psalms 37:23-24 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.
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Continuing to pray!
Psalms 37:39-40 But the salvation of the righteous is of the LORD: he is their strength in the time of trouble. And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.
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Continuing to lift up prayers!
Psalms 94:17-19 Unless the LORD had been my help, my soul had almost dwelt in silence. When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O LORD, held me up. In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.
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Know that I'm still here praying!
Psalms 40:1-4 I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD. Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.
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Stopping by to let you know I'm still praying!
Psalms 55:16-18 As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me. Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice. He hath delivered my soul in peace from the battle that was against me: for there were many with me.
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Charisse,
I was missing your kindness and decided to "visit" you on your blog. Did you write this passage knowing it would comfort us, your FAmily, just a little while later? I know you are at peace and basking in the love of Jesus but oh how we miss your presence here on Earth.
Blessings to you, and Alan, Issac, your sister and her family, and your parents,
the Fiaschetti FAmily
Mary Ann, David, Joey & Peter (day +63)
I miss you in this life, dear Charisse. I'm shedding some tears looking at those photos of you and Isaac standing by Shannon's grave. My heart aches to think that you're buried just up the hill, to the right of those photos. I'm so glad you were so excited to go to Heaven. I'm so, so grateful that all your pain and suffering is over now. Much love, Kendall xx
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