Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Fear

Fear.......it takes hold so quickly, don't you think?

It is late. I should definitely be in bed. It is 1211am here. I am ready for bed but I couldn't go to bed without writing this post. I didn't plan on writing tonight at all. However, fear......that is why I need to write. Get it out!

Jesus can WOW you with amazing miracles that you see happen through you, affecting someone else. He seems to amaze me that way. Not only that He can and does do miracles within my own body with FA and with life. That amazes me and I shouldn't be amazed because He is God. How Jesus affects my life gives me an amazing buz and an amazing joy and I want to see more miraculous stuff happen through me and to me. I can't wait to see some amazing promises that God has promised me personally, to come true. He is a God of promises that will be fulfilled. He is not a God of empty promises. I have felt God and heard God.....Jesus and it is amazing. So why do I feel fear????

We were reading a Bible story for devotions with Isaac the other night. It really hit home as to how the human race operates. Basically, it was the story of Elijah the Prophet of God in the Old Testament. The King and Queen at this time in History were Ahab and Jezebel. Queen Jezebel was well known for worshipping other gods and not the true God.....Isaac, Alan and I call Him the "Jesus God"....hehe...so Isaac knows who we are talking about :-) She led her husband into this sin too. They worshipped a false God named "Baal". The Prophet of God and the Prophets of the false god, Baal....had it out so to speak. Do you remember the story? They both got a bull and killed it and offered it as a sacrifice to their god. Elijah put his on the alter with sticks and covered the sticks with water and around the alter too in order to show that it was impossible to light it with fire. The prophets of Baal did the same but didn't pour water over the sticks. They were both to call to their god and see who would send fire down from Heaven to burn the bull. Well while the false god didn't do a thing after all their prayers...so to speak, .....God, the Jesus God...the One and only......sent fire down from Heaven and despite the water all over the alter and sticks and stuff...the bull was all burnt up! What a POWERFUL demonstration of our Lord Jesus Christ! What a powerful demonstration of God's power! And......Elijah got to witness this amazing, mind boggling miracle! You would think that he would never ever doubt God again and that it had made his day!

Yet, still, Queen Jezebel threatened him with death and Elijah ran because He was scared!!!! Wow, what a turn of events. You witness something that is truly amazing and then in the next heart beat you run and are frightened......all because of fear. In the Children's Bible God asks Elijah why he has run and he says he is scared and God says that he must go back as his work is not yet done! TRUST!!!

As humans it is so easy to witness a supernatural event that affects you deeply and then in the same heart beat it is easy to get caught up with what is life.......and feel fear despite what you have witnessed. We need to remind ourselves over and over again what God can do and what He just did that was amazing!!

I find myself getting fearful of the medical so easily. I know God doesn't think badly of me because of that at all......however, I am trying to remember the amazing things He has shown me the last 2 to 3 months and the supernatural stuff I was talking about. God can affect so much more than we give Him credit for.

Something scary was mentioned on the FA group today. I don't think it was bad for these people to share and we welcome their experience and advise. Gladly......however, my mind has a habit of panicking. I know that I have pre-leukaemia and clonal changes and have so for years. So I suddenly panic when I read something and go looking for more problems because what if I am sicker than I am....when I need to be on alert.....yes, but I also need to rest in the promises that God has given me and TRUST Him as well because only when I do that do I feel peace. Having FA is scary. The complications that come with FA can be terrifying. AS a group, the FA Family manages together. I pray that God will continue to keep my body still ticking and working ok despite all the issues I have. I have to trust Him no matter how scared I feel.

Elijah saw something amazing and then forgot. We all do it. God has grace.

I just needed to get that out.
Thanks for your support.
Love Charisse

10 comments:

Jennifer said...

God be with you Clarisse. I really don't know anything else to tell you because I have no idea what you are feeling or going through. Thank you for being so honest and sharing your amazing life with us.

Anonymous said...

That was fantastic darling. I appreciate your honesty and your walk with God so much. God bless you. Love Dad

Anonymous said...

A great post charisse, very thoughtful and insightful. Use your blog as your sounding wall, get things off your chest like this... sound them out and process the struggles and victories you face daily.
Love you heaps,
Alan

Anonymous said...

I have been praying for you all during those horrible fires. I am soooo glad you all are well.

Michelle and Alicia

Anonymous said...

Charisse:

Thank you for writing all of that. You helped me today as well with a powerful reminder. I needed it.

Jennifer Gough

Anonymous said...

Hi Charisse,
It's always encouraging to consider the 'greats' of the Bible, and as in this case, of the OT. They are all so human, yet God has used them so mightily. It seems that He uses those who are humble and honest about themselves...you are in good company (WE are all in good company). And if God can use them and do miracles in their lives, then He can do that in our's too. Be encouraged and inspired to press on and in knowing that He is fully on your side. You are usable and the apple of His eye.
Love you heaps, and always praying,
Mum

Jennifer said...

The gift card is to a store that sells women's underclothing. It is a HUGELY popular store here in the states. And I do think the giveaway is for people here, sorry
:(

Anonymous said...

Still here praying as always!
1 Corinthians 15:55-57 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Prayer Bears
My email address

Lynn said...

Know that I'm here praying right now!
Isaiah 26:4 Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.

Prayer Bears
My email address

Anonymous said...

Stopping by to let you know I'm still here praying!
Psalms 69:13 But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O LORD, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.
Prayer Bears
My email address