December 2006 entries

Saturday, December 23, 2006 2:17 AM CST

My dad is doing much better now thank you.

It is good to be able to be a family again and not worry about people being so sick in the family.

Most of you would know about my sleeping problem. I appreciated all the advice, support and love when I had that really bad bout of sleeping. My sleeping problem is anxiety and stress related and I am on some medication to help that. This issue is a long term thing because it is all related to the stress and anxiety that I deal with in relation to FA. Some weeks it is really, really bad and other weeks it is much better. Unfortunately last weekend it was very bad and I was very stressed and sleep deprived. The doctor says that when I really get anxious the medication becomes over-ridden and so it will not work...unless you have a GA or something like that. That is why I was so distressed...I also had a huge panic attack along with it. Alan told me that it was a very traumatic night. It is amazing because I remember it and then there are some things I don't remember.

However, I have slept better this week and the new medication that the doctor has tried me on is working. I just need to be able to keep doing my cognitive behavioural therapy, my walking and so on along with it!

I want to say again, thank you to all on the FA group who have offered me support and helped me out....it is much appreciated. It really helps my anxiety to just know that there are others out there like me...so thank you. Thank you also to Prayer Bears who are very faithful in supporting me and praying for me. Thank you to my family who faithfully pray for me and go out their way to help me rest. Thank you mostly to my husband, Alan. He is always there with me. When I am the most anxious he helps me deal with it and most times this is not easy. So thank you Alan.

Ok, tomorrow is Christmas Eve here in Australia. Today Alan, Isaac and I went to Alan's dad's for lunch. It was a good day. It was our Christmas gathering with his dad and partner. Oh what wonderful gifts for us all. We enjoyed exchanging gifts and having a scrumptous meal...Isaac LOVED the upside down pineaple cake. It was really nice. We were there from 1230 to 3pm and then we went to Isaac's great nanna Howard-Jones to give her Christmas gift. Isaac's gift from her is with us and we will put it under the tree on Christmas Eve with the rest.

Tomorrow we have church...Christmas Eve service...in the morning....my sister and I are singing an item and Alan and the children's church have some little production thing happening. Then Sunday night at home...put the presents under the Christmas tree and a busy day on Christmas day! We will have the morning to ourselves....just to be a family...and lunch with my parents and family and dinner with Alan's family! (mum's side). Isaac will be exhausted by the end of it all.

I thouroughly enjoyed spending the day with my sister on Friday just gone. It was also nice to have Alan's mum over as well for lunch and a bit of the afternoon. Liesl and I practiced our item for church, Eliana fed, Denise came, we had lunch and then picked Isaac up from child care and then he went to sleep, Denise went shopping, Elian went shopping with her daddy for Liesl and Liesl and I lounged in the lounge and watched the new "Superman"...heehe.......a good day! I hope all that made sense.

Well now I am going to go.....we have to have dinner, Isaac needs a bath and after such a busy day...we need to relax and I need to sleep well tonight!

Please keep Rachel and Tyler and Benjamin....Nina's family in your prayers. Nina passsed away this week and my heart goes out to them. It is a hard time for this to happen...it is hard whenever it happens...but please keep them in prayer. Nina had FA and was the sweetest little girl. I had the pleasure to meet her at FA camp last year and go to the zoo with them and spend some time at their house.

Ok, love you all and I really pray that you have a very good Christmas...the best that you can have in whatever your situation is. Jesus is faithful. I have found Him to be most comforting in the worst situations.

Merry Christmas,
Love Charisse


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Wednesday, December 6, 2006 6:03 AM CST

Hello All,

what a rough couple of weeks our family has had. It feels like it will never end. I mean, it has been a couple of months really. In the bout of Alan having Chicken pox and Isaac....I started having insomnia problems which always affects my mouth and health. I had 3 weeks of constant problems every night and ended up with bad mouth ulcers throughout my whole mouth. The pain has been unbearable. Obviously I am bearing it but with a lot of difficulty. Pain, when going for too long...like this makes me depressed. I am very prone to depression with all the issues of FA. On Monday I didn't think I could put up with anything anymore. I rang Alan at work and felt so cross and had tears...it was a moment of panic. The ulcers have been so bad that no pain relief has been helping and I think this is the problem. I had morphine tablets and it still did not touch the pain...but it made me have a hang over which made me depressed and then I am stuck in this cycle! I have Isaac to care for and it is not a good cycle....in fact it is an unhealthy cycle. So I stopped those tablets and are just taking digesic which is still very strong and has side effects...but still the pain is hardly touched. I am on numerous stuff for these ulcers now...antibiotics and antifungal.....antseptic mouth washers and anaesthetic mouth wash....it just has to heal and for FA it is twice the healing time of a normal persone. Mouth ulcers has always been a problem when I am stressed and run down!

Please pray that they clear up soon. I feel like my cheeks are swollen and I can't talk properly and I feel miserable.

My dad has been very sick! They are not sure what he has had but suggested some liver virus. He has been told he is not allowed near me..nor is my mum in case she is habouring the virus. He gets more test results back soon. It always feels a bit scary and you worry...I love my dad and don't want anything to ever happen to him. He is the Senior Pastor of our church....a big African church with about 400 people in it. He is an amazing person and it is so hard to see him sick. So please pray that he will get well soon. He has been very sick. It looks like he may be getting better but it has been rough going. It is also hard to not have mum around too. I love my mum and have missed her heaps as well. I miss both mum and dad.

Liesl, my sister, is going well with her baby, Eliana. Tim is also good (husband). They came here yesterday because I was feeling so down...just to give me some support. Isaac wanted to help with the baby and watch her have a bath and watch Liesl feed and help Tim with everything. He loves his Uncle Tim and seems to be competeing for attention. He had a fun time in the bath.....Uncle Tim and him (Tim was not in the bath) were squirting water at each other and Isaac was squealing with delight! We had tea together and I got to be an Aunty. I love Eliana. She is sweet and she likes to look at me. I love to cuddle her and help dress her and help Liesl with different things. When Tim goes back to work next week we will probably see more of each other....especially since mum is not allowed near them either. Oh yes, dad is not allowed near the baby and Liesl either. We are all a very tight nitted family and so it is hard when we all have to be separated......due to sickness. We are very close. We are praying that dad is feeling better by Christmas. It has been very unfortunate for us all....especially dad...he has been very sick...we love you dad.

Well, I am going to put new pictures of the baby and Isaac and us all in the photo section.

Please keep praying for our family. Every Thursday night our family and church folk meet for a prayer meeting and target FA and the well being of our family. As I said in my last journal....our roots in Christ go deep down and as long as that happens...we don't need to worry. However, Jesus asks us to pray and keep praying for the sick and for miracles...that is what we do as a family. So please join us in prayer.....prayer for my dad, prayer that I will be healed from FA. Prayer that Isaac and Alan will be well and protected and grow in God. Prayer that Liesl and Tim will love being parents and grow in God and be blessed and that Eliana will be blessed by God too. In this life, it is a battle....a Spiritual battle I believe. Therefore, we cannot stop praying...our passion is prayer.

Hope you didn't mind me sharing that with you guys.
Love you heaps and don't forget to check out the photos....in the process of being put up there so see if they are there yet!
Love Charisse